


As Far as the Stars

by J_J_Janson



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 11:48:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13434096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_J_Janson/pseuds/J_J_Janson
Summary: Maribelle is having a tougher time than ever hiding her feelings for Lissa, but why is Lissa pulling away?





	As Far as the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for Ylisse Week 2018, day 2, prompt: stars.

As Maribelle lay in her tent, she couldn’t help reaching out longingly towards Lissa’s tent next door. She wanted to repay Lissa for her kindness. Maribelle had worked so hard to be the perfect noblewoman, even as a child, but she was always mocked and treated cruelly by the other children at court. All except Lissa. 

Lissa, Maribelle’s first friend. 

Lissa, Maribelle’s first love. 

Nothing Maribelle could do would make the other children like her, but Lissa had always been there for her. Lissa was truly a blessing, a treasure, Maribelle’s angel. 

And Maribelle would work hard to repay that debt, that kindness. 

***

The sun beat down on Chrom’s army, but Lissa and Maribelle did not feel a thing. Maribelle’s parasol kept them in a nice, cool shade. Maribelle hoped Lissa did not feel how hard her heart was pounding. 

“Thanks for letting me ride your horse with you, Maribelle. I’ve never been good at riding them on my own.” 

Maribelle giggled. “Oh my dear sweet Lissa, I’m sure you could do anything you set your mind to. Anything I can do, you can do better after all. For example, you’ve gotten surprisingly good with that axe of yours.” Maribelle was nervous about seeing Lissa fighting on the front lines, but if it meant she would build even more arm muscle Maribelle would do whatever was needed to protect her. For the arm muscles! 

Maribelle could feel Lissa turn away, looking off in the distance. “Sure, I can fight okay now. But there’s so much I can’t do. So much ladylike stuff. I’m bad at preparing tea, cooking, sewing, and all those courtship rituals they taught us.”

“Lissa my treasure, you simply haven’t been interested in those things and haven’t given it your full time and attention. There’s no need to worry. You’ve got a lifetime to learn, and if your tutors are inadequate I’ll teach you myself.”

Maribelle thought she should be proud of herself for addressing Lissa’s insecurities. But something didn’t feel quite right.  

Lissa did not say anything after that. The two rode together in uncomfortable silence. 

***

While everyone else was eating some stale substance that Frederick insisted was bread, with a side of a “soup” Henry was willing to give to anyone brave or hungry enough, Maribelle and Lissa enjoyed a candlelit steak dinner. 

Although if Maribelle knew any better, she’d say Lissa wasn’t enjoying hers. She’d given up after only a few bites, and was now simply pushing her food around the plate and occasionally cutting it into smaller pieces. 

“Was this steak prepared poorly, my dearest? I can make another one.”

Lissa shook her head. “It’s not the taste it’s just… is it alright for us to be eating so well while everyone else is eating rock-flavored bread?”

“I think it’s actually bread-flavoured rock, but we do not need to split hairs. As to your question, you are a princess. There isn’t nearly enough steak to supply the whole army, but there’s enough for our beautiful princess.” 

“Yeah but. It makes me feel bad to get special treatment.” 

“You get the treatment you deserve, Lissa dear.”

“So you’re saying everyone else deserves whatever that is Frederick and Henry are trying to call food?”

That stopped Maribelle. “Oh no my treasure, I don’t mean that. It’s just that we can’t give them what they deserve, real food, but we can give you what you deserve.”

Lissa suddenly bit back a retort. Then, after calming herself with a breath, she asked “Maribelle, are we friends?”

“Of course Lissa my angel, why would say-”

Lissa stood. “Then treat me like a friend, and not someone whose affection you’re trying to buy.”

Lissa stormed out. 

Maribelle wanted to follow, but she could not bring herself to show her tear streaked face to Lissa. 

***

After several days of Lissa avoiding her, Maribelle showed up at Lissa’s tent. “Lissa, may I speak with you?”

There was a long silence, and Maribelle considered leaving, ignored once again. 

“Yeah, you can come in, Maribelle.”

Lissa’s tent seemed just like any other. While Maribelle personalized hers with tapestries from home, Lissa seems to feel no need to personalize hers. “Thank you, Lissa.”

With nowhere else to sit, Maribelle found herself sitting at one end of Lissa’s sleeping bag, while Lissa herself sat on the opposite end. 

Maribelle could not quite understand the look Lissa was giving her. Was it resentful? Or simply appraising?

“I’ve come to apologize to you, Lissa.”

Lissa simply nodded, giving Maribelle permission to continue. 

“I left a poor impression on you. I should have known better. You grew up surrounded by those who would flatter you to get what they want. I’m certain it exhausts you now. And I promise, that was not my intention, but I must apologize again for hurting you even if it was not my intention.” Maribelle considered how much she could bring herself to say. She went with the easy parts. Not the hard parts, the personal parts, the kind that would involve opening up about all of her feelings. Her many, many feelings. Too many feelings. “You see, my dearest Lissa, you are a dear friend to me. My first friend. The same people who flattered you scorned me. I’ve always suspected that was why you befriended me in the first place. But you cannot understand how much that meant to me. It was like the stars themselves were protecting me from the darkness of the night. And so I’ve worked to do everything I could for you, even if I could never stand beside you. I shower you with kindness not because I wish to benefit from our friendship, but because it is all I can think to make myself feel worthy of your time. If I am not doing everything I can to be worth the time you give me, then what am I?”

Maribelle had been so focused on her words she had not realized that Lissa had been holding her hand for some time. “Maribelle, you don’t have to treat me special to be my friend. You’re my friend, and I want you to treat me like you would any other.”

Maribelle stifled a bitter laugh. “Oh Lissa my dear you do not understand the Herculean effort it takes to treat you as simply a friend. You are the dearest person in my world, and I cannot help but show that.”

“You’re my best friend too, Maribelle.”

Maribelle wanted to cry. She could no longer hold her feelings back anymore but this bitter rant was not how she had wanted to proclaim her feelings. “Lissa, my love, I cannot see you as anything other than the brightest light in my life. You are worth more to me than the stars themselves. But telling you my true feelings has always felt like shouting at the heavens. I love you Lissa. And I’m afraid that makes me a failure as a friend, because I cannot treat you like I would any other person, because anything less than the best would feel like an insult to you.” Maribelle stood up, and turned to leave. “I must apologize again. This is now what I wanted to say when I came here but I seem to have lost my head. I will no longer bother you.”

Maribelle’s exit was stopped by Lissa’s sturdy arms, wrapping her in a tight, almost desperate hug. 

Maribelle could no longer hold the tears back. “Lissa my sweetest, I appreciate that you are concerned for my feelings, but any kindness born from pity would simply be salt in my wounds.”

Lissa just held Maribelle tighter. “You’re so smart, Maribelle, so why are you so stupid about feelings. I never wanted you to shower me with affection to win my love. I want you to feel like my equal. I want you to know that I love you as much as you love me, but I’ve never been as good as you at showing it. If I’m the stars, then you’re the sky itself, always wrapping me in comfort and safety. I’ve been able to wield my axe and fight alongside my brother because I know you’re there to guard my back, and to patch me up. I can eat whatever Frederick makes us pretend is food if I can eat it with you, because every moment with you is amazing. You’re breaking both our hearts, Maribelle. You’re throwing salt in your own wounds. It’s okay for you to love me. And it’s okay for me to love you.”

After so many words, neither woman wanted to speak anymore. They simply curled up together, holding the other in their arms, enjoying each other’s presence, their true feelings finally piercing the night. 


End file.
